“WHAT DETERMINES THE MEANING
OF YOUR COMMUNICATION?”
There are two meanings…
The meaning to you. The Intent. What you want the listener to receive and do.
The meaning to them. The Impact. What they actually receive and actually do.
You are in charge of what you send.
They are in charge of how they receive it.
What you send can influence how they receive it.
The most influential communicators…communicate with an “aware-sensitivity”, to the listener’s personal context.
Personal context, equals their current reality. The combination of how they are feeling and believing about themselves, the world, their capabilities, and other environmental factors…such as “you.”
How’s that for a fresh perspective?
It’s nothing personal about you or me, but it is personal about how the “listener is listening to”, or how the ”looker is looking at”, their world. That is, through their personal context.
For instance, a child is likely to hear a large adult standing above them and speaking with a loud voice different than — another adult would hear another adult (of the same size and gender) standing six feet away.
The care, skill and flexibility of the person sending a communication shapes what gets sent.
The listener’s context filter’s what gets received.
In China, speaking Chinese helps a lot.
In California, speaking English or Spanish helps a lot.
Often in a business setting, logical communication is useful.
Often in a romantic situation, heartfelt communication is useful.
Often in a family, friendly, seductive, or business situation relational communication is useful.
The person with more relational communication flexibility is in the best position to influence the communication.
The person with the most consciousness is the one who is more responsible for the quality of the relationship.
If you agree with the above two statements, then it also follows that blaming another is another way of saying the other is more conscious than you, because they are “more responsible for the situation” or “you are more conscious, but were being irresponsible.”
So either way blaming doesn’t work.
And, aware-sensitivity, consciousness and responsibility does.
With power comes responsibility.
Joseph Faust, March 2017
“WHY do Agreements Work Better than Expectations?”
Plus, tips for making more successful agreements…
Because AN EXPECTATION is something that ONLY ONE PERSON wants, needs, “hopes for” or expects… EXPECTATIONS CREATE DISAPPOINTMENT.
In contrast, AN AGREEMENT is something that two or more people agree will occur (or agree will not occur).
Well-created agreements identify and create alignment. Well-handled agreements create alignment, trust and great results!
HOW WE HANDLE AGREEMENTS impacts TRUST and OUR SUCCESS!
Have you ever felt the pain that resulted from…making an agreement and then later you didn’t or the other person didn’t even want to acknowledge the existence of the agreement? Often that’s the result of being overcommitted or making agreements that you or the other person never wanted to make in the first place!
Tip: Only make agreements that both people want to make!
Have you noticed that someone trying to force or manipulate into agreement…never works out well?
The BEST AGREEMENTS are those that are FREELY CHOSEN by both people. And, with an awareness of what it will take to deliver on the agreement.
Also, desire and capacity are two different things and the best agreements are made when the participants have:
BOTH DESIRE FOR THE AGREEMENT TO EXIST, and THE CAPACITY TO DELIVER ON THE DELIVERY ON THE AGREEMENT, AS AGREED.
BREAKDOWNS HAPPEN, and sometimes UNANTICIPATED CIRCUMSTANCES arise…
And since, “Integrity is the essence of everything successful.” – Buckminster Fuller
How can we adjust our agreements with integrity, when unanticipated circumstances occur?
When an agreement needs to be adjusted, I offer the following tips to honor yourself and those you make agreements with:
WHEN YOU FIRST SENSE THAT YOU MAY NOT ACHIEVE FULFILLING AN AGREEMENT AS AGREED, COMMUNICATE.
What to communicate? Consider this…
That you are now aware that you will not be able to make the agreement that you agreed to, as you agreed, and that you recognize there is likely to be impact “on the other person (or persons) because of the change,” and that you wish to know what the impact is likely to be and that you wish to make amends for the impact.
I would enjoy hearing your feedback on how the above works for you!
Founder of LoveLifeSchool.com (currently in development)